woah. tomorrow is valentine's day. i am not sad. nor angry. nor lonely. nor afraid.
i am content. and happy. you see. going through loneliness. and like. and "love". and heartbreak. has shown me something.

love is not "oh baby you're beautiful let's kiss." i mean, sure that is love. but that's not the only thing love is.

love is what my friends show me every day when we're calling each other derogatory names.

love is what my instructor's show me when they take the time to show me step by step how to succeed.

love is what my parents show me every day when they send me off to school and tell me to make good choices.

so you know what, i am single.
i don't have everything i want in my life.
but hot damn.

i have got so much love.

happy valentine's day everyone.

And that's okay.

I over think everything. I've realized that as much I want this,
I can't make it happen.
Neither can you.
You're busy. I'm not.
So I spend so much of my time waiting.
I would wait if I thought that's what you wanted.
It's not.

He wants me.
I know it.
He tells me.
I want him.
Not like I want you,
But in that situation,
I have only one option.

And so I'm going on.

I want to get serious - as serious one can get from... hundreds of miles away.
I don't have to be your boyfriend. I just want to know that someone is thinking of me.
I just want to know that the feeling is mutual.

What I don't want is to force that on you.
Because I did that once [accidentally] and it took me a year to get over it.

So this is my final prose about you and I.
We can still be friends right?


...right...


pessimistic.

Why do I rush into relationships -any kind- when I know what i do?

I am meant to have acquaintances, and no one close to me.

I can't trust. I am afraid. Everything has the same outcome.
I end up alone.